Seminarian Kerry (Kirill) Williams
My name is Kerry Williams and I am 32
years old. On the day of the Ss. Peter and Paul Feast (Old
Calendar), I was Baptized and Chrismated into the Orthodox Church on
Spruce Island in Alaska. Because this took place at the home of
St. Herman, it brought with it a perspective of what it means to be
alive before the face of God. My past experience with spirituality
notwithstanding, my time on Spruce Island will be with me always.
Growing up in Texas, my mother gave me
only the spiritual guidance in which she was grounded. Although
not part of a church, she always read to me from children's Bible story
books and taught me to pray. I never forgot her lessons or the
stories, but seldom remembered to implement their meanings and
comforts. It was not until later that I realized their value in my
life.
When I was sixteen, it was a very good
year. Twelve months attending a local church inspired me to quit
public school and persuade my mom to let me attend a private Christian
school, and I graduated in 1993 with great friends, a comfortable place
in youth ministry, and a desire to serve God.
Out of the said desire and a lack of
knowing what to do, I followed my friends' academic pursuits and
attended Christ For the Nations Institute in Dallas, Texas. For
two year, I studied the Bible, sang songs to God and wondered who was
really on top of things in Christendom. It's fair to say that this
is also the time when I wondered who was really right in their
respective take on God, the Bible, and especially on how to do
church. Primarily, because they accepted my CFNI credits, I took
my studies to Dallas Baptist University, as well as my persistent
questions on what exactly I was learning. While at DBU, two major
events transpired: an introduction to philosophy and my first trip to
Russia.
Still wanting to serve God yet having no
clue as to what that would look like, I started taking classes from a
philosophy professor. The classes were small, the content intense,
and the teacher made everything interesting, all with a Christian
perspective that was neither too Protestant nor enough Orthodox.
During August, 1997, I went to Russia and worked in a summer camp for
orphans. The experience forever changed me, and I came back to
college with the need to understand what true Christianity is.
Aside from a church visit in Suzdal, my first introduction was a
textbook for a class on Christian worldview, For the Life of the
World, by Fr. Alexander Schmemann.
While going through CFNI and the
university, I was interning at various youth ministries. There was
a core group of us: young students, all involved with summer camps in
Russia, and constantly searching for something deeper in God and
church. I was particularly finding it difficult to be settled
doing youth ministry with no vision beyond. Russia was always on
my heart and I wanted desperately to go back and live among the
orphans. Finally, I got my chance and moved to Kostroma in
December, 2000.
For all of 2001 I lived among the saints
of Holy Rus', the ancient monasteries and churches, and Orthodox
believers. I came back to America with no interest in
Orthodoxy. Therefore, my understanding of the Church was limited
and stale. My disinterest, however, was not limited to
Orthodoxy, but to any church of any confession. I, along with my
transplanted friends from Texas, searched Colorado Springs for a place
to worship God. Going hither and thither proved unfruitful, and
with great reluctance I visited Ss.
Constantine and Helen Orthodox Church. It was the beginning of
Great Lent and I kept going back. Eventually, I told the priest,
Fr. Anthony, that I was out of excuses and did not know what to do with
myself. The next Sunday I became a catechumen and three months
later I was on the church work trip to Kodiak Island in Alaska.
I was able to go to Spruce Island and
help restore Ss. Sergius and Stephen chapel. While there, I drank
from a supernatural spring, met and worked alongside the monks Fr.
Andrew and Fr. Martyrios, and learned of the beloved St. Herman.
On July 12 (Old Calendar in Alaska) I was Baptized and Chrismated into
the Orthodox Church in Monk's Lagoon, the waters of the Pacific Ocean,
receiving the Eucharist on Ss. Peter & Paul's Feast Day.
The desire to serve God never left
me. Rather, it became more clear, as are most things since
converting. Working in youth ministries and with Russian orphans,
living in Russia, looking for churches - all of this led to something
that God made clear at Ss.
Constantine and Helen Church. Understanding who the Greek
Fathers are, what icons tell me, how the Church formed and by whom, what
the Bible is, reading account of Fr. Arseny and Elder Paisios - this is
what my soul craves today. I want to learn more; I want God to
make them clear. The Wednesday night classes at Ss.
Constantine and Helen Church with Fr. Anthony, my first spiritual
father in two decades of being a Christian, made me want to go to
seminary more and more, to learn the truth of being alive and Christian.
Today, I am in my second year at St.
Tikhon's Seminary. I would love to tell everyone that it has
been a breeze academically and spiritually a cinch. Truth be told,
I've never had to study so hard before, not for getting the grade, but
studying in order to understand. What is more, any spiritual
growth I have experienced has not come wrapped up in a pretty box with
my name on it. The process of learning what it means to be humble
and fleeing the passions has been the most difficult endeavor of my
life. In the context of seminary, the thoughts of truly serving
the Church are so much more real, more serious. This is good, for
I have realized the importance of understanding and spiritual wisdom
over good grades and snappy answers.
I am the seminarian Kirill, named after
St. Kirill, Evangelizer to the Slavs, Equal to the Apostles, and
emulating this great saint at St.
Tikhon's Seminary is the most challenging time of my life.
Without the support of my home parish family at Ss.
Constantine and Helen, I could not endure, spiritually and
financially. By the grace of God, may I continue to soldier
onward....
He
goes on to explain, "If the purpose of recreation is to 're-create'
ourselves, then, similarly, the purpose of religion is to re-join that
which has been separated, most especially our relationship with
God." Ted sees Orthodoxy as the path to that re-unification
and the re-creation of our lives in God's image.